My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
