i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
