Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
