I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize