im about as happy as oj after his trial
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
