also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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