david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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