...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
