Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
