i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
