I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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