Fuck appropriateness.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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