he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize