Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
