I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize