If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
