ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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