She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm just crazy horny about you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
