I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
