WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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