Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
