I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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