Kiss
Puke
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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