Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
