So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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