Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Barsexuality is the new black.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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