i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
