From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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