I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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