Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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