Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
