can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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