you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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