Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
