kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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