in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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