I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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