eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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