i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
