pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
