just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
