P.S. I can't hear my feet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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