New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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