Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
