is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
