i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She needs sedatives and a leash
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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