I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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