So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize