if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
