dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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