we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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