I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
