I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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