Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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