she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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