So drunk its hurt
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
