I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
