Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
