new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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