so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
