I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
