On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
