You work out of a Hotel?
Its about making memories worth repressing
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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